Looking in the Mirror
Self Doubt in Our Own Reflections
All names were changed to keep the individual anonymous. All photos are photo illustrations.
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Even as a senior in high school, the effects of bullying still affects Arianna. When she was younger Arianna was bullied for being skinny and having freckles. “It kinda sucks to be skinny but it sucks to be any shape because you will be shamed no matter what,” said Arianna. Because of that, she developed social anxiety and a fear of rejection. “I see myself as a pretty shy person, at least when I first interact with people,” said Arianna. After interacting with people more and more, she is able to come out of her shell. Arianna continued on saying how the constant judgemental feelings pushed her to keep to herself with new people. She believes those who don’t know her well, see her as awkward, but she wants them to think of her as trustworthy. Even though Arianna was bullied for being herself, she wants other people to feel safe enough to approach her and that she will treat anyone the way she was treated.
Although Tony feels unnoticed by other people, he sees himself as someone who is very lucky. He appreciates the amazing life he has. “I have a great family, friends, food everyday, a roof over my head, and a lot of other things that many people don’t get,” said Wang. He believes he isn’t someone people would noticed, but he is okay with that. “I’m good with people not seeing me in any kind of way because then they won’t have an expectation when meeting me,” Tony said. He is someone who caters his personality to fit in with certain people, to him, it depends on the person he is with. “I think there are certain people I can be myself around and those are the one’s I’m closest with, but I definitely censor myself around certain people,” said Tony. To him, being unnoticed isn’t an issue, he has his group of friends he can be himself around and to him, that’s what matters most.
For Mary, living to her true potential feels quite difficult because of her struggles with depression. It affects her life in every way possible. “It affects my self esteem, school work, energy to wake up and go to school, motivation in general, even to make a sandwich,” said Mary. Her symptoms started as young as 13 years old and that it only go worse over time. Because of this Mary sees herself as someone who isn’t as great as she could be and that other people think of her as stupid. Mary wants people to see her as a good human being and someone who genuinely cares for people. Even though her depression wants her to be sad, she works so hard to have fun and be goofy, it helps her feel better. “Hashtag One Nine,” she said with a smirk on her face.
Layla is someone who knows what she believes and will vocalize her opinion. She is always interested and amused by different opinions and perspectives as long as they aren’t harmful or offensive towards others. Layla struggles with depression and anxiety and because of it she has a heightened sense of empathy, but she takes pride in her willingness to use her own experience to help other people. Most of the time, her empathetic persona allows Layla to really connect with people and understand their story. “I am the kind of person that loves hearing other people’s stories and learning about different cultures and perspectives,” said Layla. When people are going through rough times, it makes it easier for her to help them. Layla loves helping people, but it causes her to want to help everyone that struggles which is way too much for a single person to handle. Layla's vocalization of her opinion has been seen as annoying towards other people, because of that she is self-conscious. “[Vocalizing my opinion] doesn’t fit into the societal norm for women, but that doesn’t keep me from doing it,” said Layla.
Fatima is one who has many great skills and abilities, but sees herself as someone who is never good enough and therefore can’t be content. Since Fatima was a toddler, she’s had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which makes it extremely difficult to be happy with herself. This is not to say that she is never happy with herself, she just feels like she can do more and do better. “Most people think OCD is just putting things in order and getting agitated when it’s out of order, but really that’s not what it is for a lot of people,” explained Fatima. Being able to talk comfortably with other people has helped Fatima in so many aspects of her life. She has been able to get up and talk in front of over 100 business professionals and begin the process of a technology career from the young age of a high schooler. “I’ve been able to start my dream career of being a web developer and am currently in the process of getting an internship in tech departments at various big companies,” said Fatima.
Being successful in life is what takes up most of Anya’s time, but because of this she loses sight of the small things that are most important. She sees herself as someone who wants to be successful and to her that means running her own company and making a lot of money to have a good stable family. “I want to start a company that focuses on making inexpensive prosthetics for people in developing countries across the world,” said Anya. In the year 2018, Anya visited her family in Ghana, Africa and had the opportunity to work at an orphanage for disabled kids. She saw how much they were struggling to get basic prosthetics, “I knew I could do something about it,” said Anya. The whole experience was extremely eye opening for Anya. “I learned that no matter what you’re going through to always have an open mind because the girls that I met are going through so much but they still have a positive outlook on things,” said Anya. Even though Anya went to Ghana for a family visit, the experience of working at the orphanage made her realize that she is a lot stronger that she thinks.